The Choice is Yours

The Choice is Yours
I am trying to make BIG goals for myself.  And, I am FLAT. OUT. SCARED. 

👉 Afraid I will fail.
👉 Afraid I will look like a fool. 
👉 Afraid I will succeed (and then what do I do?).
👉 Afraid of what others will think of me.
👉 Afraid of putting myself out there. 
👉 Afraid of not being good enough. 

Man, fear can BEAT. US. UP.

If we let it đŸ˜’.

I am tempted to make small, easily attainable goals.  I mean, come on... I want to succeed, don't I?  So, why not play it safe?  Why put myself out there and face failure? 

I can use fear as a MOTIVATOR or to CRIPPLE me.  It is MY choice. 

How we respond to our fear is completely, 100% up to us. What a sobering thought.  

I ~ not my spouse, not my boss, not my business partner, not my children, not my parents, not my family, not the naysayers, not my past, not my circumstances, not my finances ~ I (me, myself and I)  hold my future and my dreams in MY hands. I can CHOOSE to chase after them or shy away from them. 

If I succeed, it is on me. 
If I do not succeed, it is on me. 

So, why do some use fear to move forward and some use fear to hold themselves back? đŸ¤”

Have you ever noticed excitement and fear have the same bodily responses? 

😱 Butterflies in the stomach.
😱 Shaking or shivering.
😱 Tingling.
😱 Racing thoughts.  
😱 Heart Pounding.
😱 Heavy breathing. 

Our brain has trouble discerning whether we are feeling excitement or fear. Kind of crazy, am I right?

BUT... we can use this to our advantage and FOOL our brain. 

When faced with a situation, a HUGE goal that seems unattainable, an opportunity, a phone call you need to make, a life changing decision, a chance to run after your dreams and you are feeling all kinds of fear... CHANGE the NARRATIVE in your brain. 

TELL your brain you are EXCITED. And, your brain will actually listen to you đŸ˜‰.

Is this a "one in done" thing?  Probably not. Your brain will try to interfere and remind you of your fear over and over again. It's sole purpose is to keep you alive so it will stay in self preservation mode.  BUT, you can take control of your thoughts over and over again and put your brain in its place. 

YOU are  in control, not your brain. 

So, who do you want to be? 
Do you want to be EXCITED about the future?
Or, do you want to be AFRAID and never move forward?
The choice is YOURS

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What do you do when you are scared?

What do you do when you are scared?

What do you do when you are scared or uncomfortable 😮?

There is nothing that strikes fear in the heart of this girl and will bring her running for Mama more than a smoke detector beeping 😞.

While it is INCREDIBLY annoying for me, I assume it hurts her ears in ways I cannot even imagine.

She shakes uncontrollably and gets as close to me as possible. 

Most recently, the beeping smoke detector was actually where I was in my office so she heard it from upstairs, came running to me and then was even more freaked out when it kept going off just over her head. 

She thought she was running AWAY from danger and TOWARDS safety, but instead ran right smack dab in the middle of danger. 

👉 I am a people pleaser.

👉 I avoid confrontation.

👉 I am a peacemaker.

👉 I want everything in life to be picture perfect.

👉 I do not like to create friction.

👉 I like to play it safe and NOT put myself out there. 

So, how have I dealt with a difficult situation or person or life circumstance? 

  1. Stick my head in the sand - avoid, avoid, avoid at ALL costs. 
  2. Run in the opposite direction (see #1).
  3. Try to pretend like it doesn’t exist (ummmm… again, see #1).
  4. Smooth things over by pretending nothing is wrong (do you see a pattern here?). 

The older I get, the LESS I try to run from danger, from things that are uncomfortable or painful.  

I have learned that facing it HEAD ON takes away its power over me to make me feel scared, ill equipped and small.  Looking it straight in the eye and DEALING with it gives me confidence and strength.

Today, I am learning (we are all a work in progress, am I right?) to handle hard things differently. 

  1. NAME the problem, the danger, the person, the crisis, the discomfort, the situation. 
  2. PRAY for guidance and discernment. 
  3. ACT on what God is saying. 
  4. FACE it head on without fear. 
  5. Be CONFIDENT and walk through the fire. 
  6. LEARN from the experience. 

We will all face challenges in life. It is how we react to them that makes us WHO we are.  

Don’t try to avoid them.  USE them to grow and be a BETTER you.

Love this info? You'll love my FREE guide to becoming "crunchy."  Check it out here.

10 Steps to Pivot

10 Steps to Pivot

Have you ever changed direction in life ↩ī¸?

This retainer case represents regret and pivot. 

My hubs has had braces twice in his life... as a teenager and again at age 40. Both times, he was given a retainer. Both times, he stopped wearing that retainer. Both times, his teeth shifted ☚ī¸.

This time around, he saw it happening and is now wearing his retainer faithfully every night... not to fix the shifting that has already happened (because it would take a 3rd round of braces to do that and that ain't happening), but to stop any further shift. 

If only he had worn the retainer all along 😕.

Sometimes, we make poor choices or do things we know are not good for us. 

BUT, there is always time to pivot. 

Maybe it will not undo the damage already done, but it can change the direction we are going so there is no further damage. 

So, what do we do?

1. Stop and evaluate. 
Be honest with where you are in your life.  What is working?  What is not? What do you want to be different?  How are you going to get to where you want to be?

2. WRITE down your thoughts. 
DREAM BIG. Don’t be afraid to write down every goal and dream you have ever had. Get it out of your head and on to paper.  Brain dump and let the thoughts flow freely. You can always scratch things off later that are not in line with where you want to be. 

3. DREAM with your spouse.  
It is so much more fun chasing after your dreams with the one you love. Get their buy in and support. You are going to need their encouragement along the way because chasing after your dreams is not always easy. 

4. Make a plan. 
A dream without a plan is just a dream. Write out your path.  Break it down, step by step. KNOW where you are going and HOW to get there. 

5. PIVOT!!
Now that you know where you are and where you want to go and how to get there, pivot and change direction.  This is going to require getting out of your comfort zone and stretching yourself in ways you could never imagine. 

6. Start. 
Starting is sometimes the hardest part of any change in life, but it is a necessary part. Remember that plan you wrote out? Start with Step 1. 

7. Keep going. 
Remember all the things in life that distracted you from your dreams and goals the first time?  Don’t let them distract you again. Laser focus on where you are going. When you are doing an activity, ask yourself “Does this get me closer to my goal?”  If not, stop doing it.

8. Encourage others to chase after their dreams. 
Find a support system and be a support to others. The road to extraordinary is less traveled, but you do not have to do it alone. 

9. Celebrate the wins along the way. 
There are going to disappointments, frustrations and let downs. Celebrate each and every win, no matter how small.  Those wins will keep you motivated when the going gets tough.

10. Be thankful. 
Live a life of gratitude and positivity and be thankful for every bump in the road because it is one bump closer to your dreams!

It is never too late. 

You can assess your life and if you do not like what we see, you always have the option to pivot.  

You can do this!

Love this info? You'll love my FREE guide to becoming "crunchy."  Check it out here.